We love mysteries.

We enjoy using our minds to gather clues and solve problems of all kinds. Whether it’s the latest crime show on television, a news story, your company’s top-secret product launch, or where you left your glasses, you are captivated by questions that have significance for you.

In fact, we can learn a great deal by becoming mindful of the types of mysteries that fire up our brains. By using multiple intelligences theory as a framework, we can create greater awareness of the areas that naturally appeal to us as playgrounds for mindfulness.

For example, if you find that you are frequently intrigued by dramas–gossip, soap operas, office politics, novels, or shows like “Survivor” or “The Bachelor”–pay attention to that. What it tells you is that you have a natural inclination to flex your interpersonal intelligence, or “people” smarts.

You seek clues to help you understand and anticipate the motives, reactions, and choices of others. You have an ability to see personality traits clearly and recognize behavior patterns, and you apply this knowledge to new situations and characters.

All the world is a stage to you, and you are fascinated by the players and plots.

If you enjoy observing dramas, you might as well use them as triggers for mindfulness, right? So, for example, you could select a particular cue to notice and heighten your awareness of when, how, and why it appears.

If you choose a gesture like someone putting their hand on their forehead, you could use this as your secret prompt to pay attention to what follows immediately AFTER that. An exclamation of exhaustion? A self-critical statement? A swear word?

You can do this during your conversations with others, but it’s also easy to do when you are watching people in any setting–at a party, in a movie, on television.

What can you learn about this person in particular and people in general by paying attention to this gesture? What are the subtle differences between people using this gesture, and between instances when the same person uses this gesture?

Remember, to develop mindfulness we need to notice new things, draw distinctions, shift our perspective, and stay focused on the moment.

• Watching for a gesture allows us to pop into mindfulness mode whenever we notice our selected trigger.

• Paying attention to the various emotions and words of the player helps us draw distinctions.

• Looking at how different people use this gesture depending on the circumstances teaches us to shift our perspective.

• Spending even a few seconds of mindful attention whenever we see that hand-to-forehead gesture gives us a simple, brief, appealing opportunity to be fully present in the moment.

Whether your interpersonal intelligence is highly developed or not, you can improve the way you pay attention to the world around you by engaging in this easy little game.
Just pick a gesture, and start noticing when it appears.

Nobody needs to know. It’s your secret mission. It will take only a few seconds here and there.

You will find that this is a remarkably powerful way to improve your ability to shift your focus instantly, heighten your awareness of visual cues, deepen your understanding of how emotions are expressed, and start seeing yourself as someone who PAYS ATTENTION.

Start sleuthing your way toward greater mindfulness by watching the dramas unfold all around you.

Back in 1983, I was hired to teach English in rural northern Japan. I had no experience teaching, and didn’t speak a work of Japanese.

No matter—I had the requisite four-year college degree and a thirst for adventure.

My employer/boss/teaching partner was Grif Frost, a 27-year-old budding entrepreneur who had married the Japanese exchange student who had once lived with his family. He ended up living near his wife’s parents in Mutsu, and did what any self-respecting
English-speaking person did in Japan in 1982—he started an English school.

Now, Grif had no experience teaching, either. He had a master’s in International Management and a couple of toddlers at home. He was the token foreigner in Mutsu, and figured he might as well put it to good use.

Without training, he developed an approach he called “Dynamic English”—a high-energy, full-body, take-no-prisoners form of English as pure entertainment. He focused on presenting classes that were “Fast, Fun and Friendly”, and was notorious for his colorful puppets, loud singing, dramatic storytelling, and excessive sweating.

As his partner, I picked up on the style quickly. Soon, I was causing my own stampedes of 3-year-olds and getting my share of notoriety for creative book-reading. In one memorable moment, I was spreading my arms wide to demonstrate the concept of “big” when my blouse burst open. Talk about a visual aid!

We became something like rock stars among the kindergarten children. Imagine a hundred Japanese five-year-olds seeing big white Americans with squeaky oversized plastic mallets (great for elimination during “Simon Says”), an overflowing bag of what looked suspiciously like toys, and boisterous “Good Morning!” greetings. The kids would literally fall over laughing at our stunts, and never got tired of our silly songs and wild games.

We were doing what came naturally—fully engaging the students in a way that created real awareness of language, objects, directions, shapes, colors, and verbal and musical sounds. Our older students were thrilled with this active approach, so different from the “This is a pen” lessons they’d chanted in their mandatory English classes in middle school. By providing new triggers, surprising methods, and hilarious material, we were offering novel stimuli, fresh perspective, and 100% focus on the present.

Little did we know that a Harvard psychologist would later describe these same characteristics as essential for mindful learning! Dr. Ellen Langer, author of The Power of Mindful Learning, talks about the importance of being open to novelty, drawing distinctions, being aware of differing contexts and perspectives, and orienting in the present.

Learning a language can be incredibly tedious or outrageously active and exciting. We played with English and our students not only learned the lessons quickly but laughed heartily, burned calories, and created a whole new mindset about what it takes to learn something new.

Grif relied on mindful learning in developing his approach to teaching English—he was completely open from the beginning, and was never hampered by ideas of what teaching should look like.

He was creative about using games and songs he’d loved as a kid and turning them into fresh and powerful tools for teaching. He shifted the lesson plans when dealing with various age groups and English levels, and constantly improved his approach by paying attention to the responses and being fearless about making changes and trying out new ideas.

Years later, I am delighted to find myself applying this approach
to teaching mindfulness. Instead of sticking with the meditation lesson plan, I’ve opted for the excitement of learning mindfulness in a way that is thoroughly engaging and surprisingly active. In fact, the basic guidelines for Real-World Mindfulness Training are remarkably similar to those for Dynamic English:

* Stay open to new things—including your approach to learning in general.

* Look for subtle differences in similar objects or ideas.

* Discover new uses for old tools.

* Explore shifting perspectives.

* Shake up stale notions.

* Engage all senses.

* Get physical whenever possible.

* Jump into the moment wholeheartedly.

* Be sure to have fun every single day.

Whether you’re learning a language or developing mindfulness, the key is this: keep it dynamic.

And never underestimate the value of large squeaky plastic mallets. Just imagine how much fun it would be to use one in a room full of meditators!

Surfing is mindfulness in action. Riding the biggest waves is an all-out, fully-present-or-die-trying proposition.

Thanks to a persistent case of aquaphobia, I’ve never tried surfing. However, I’ve done my share of snowboarding, and I am trying to imagine what it would be like to carve the slopes with several tons of avalanche chasing me down the mountain.

First of all, I would have to hike to the top and wait to catch the biggest avalanche, getting pummeled by several in the process. Oh, and then try not to think too much about the abominable snowman poised to take a hunk out of my leg when I least expect it.

Yeah. I’m stoked.

I don’t really “get” surfing, but I stand in awe of it. It’s impossible to avoid acknowledging the strength, timing, grace and heart-blazing courage required just to catch those enormous waves, let alone ride them smoothly without wiping out.

Whether or not you’re into water, “Riding Giants” is a breathtaking film guaranteed to raise your pulse rate. Following the rise of big wave surfing from its ragtag roots in the fifties to the jet-ski boosted endorsement deals of today, “Riding Giants” offers a fascinating look at surf culture in all its guts and glory–not to mention its sun-bleached hair, wave-toned bodies, and plenty of pre-cancerous skin cells.

Although several world-class surfers are profiled, the one I find most amazing is Jeff Clark, a 43-year-old native of Half Moon Bay, California who is credited with discovering Mavericks, a notoriously gnarly big wave mecca twenty miles south of San Francisco.

Clark spotted the monstrous waves from the cliffs of Half Moon Bay as a teenager. One day, he decided to paddle the half-mile in chilly ocean water to check it out. Never mind that he was too far out for his worried friend–or anyone else–to save him. Forget that these waves would turn out to be so huge that, years later, seasoned pros from Waimea would find them jaw-dropping. Disregard the razor-sharp rocks waiting to chew up anyone unfortunate enough to be slammed to the shore.

Clark had his first of many ride-of-your-life experiences that day. He couldn’t believe the power of it, the magic, the unimaginable thrill.

He went out to surf that incredible vortex every day. Alone. For fifteen years.

I’m guessing that his parents were either a) clueless about where he was, or b) powerless to prevent him from returning. He couldn’t find anyone insane enough to join him.

He wasn’t doing it for the attention, for the chicks, for the cameras, or for the money. He was out there getting pounded for the sake of that big ol’ grin on his face and the unfathomable sense of connection to something larger than himself.

Clark was like some modern day ascetic, putting himself through tortuous rites and death defying acts of faith while living in seclusion. He became one with the water on a daily basis through rigorous attention and exhaustive exploration.

I am humbled. I envy him. And I can’t stop thinking about how most of us will never have this all-consuming passion or such a magnificent opportunity to experience oneness with anything.

Jeff Clark may be crazy. He may be obsessed. But he is a man whose mindfulness has inspired and elevated him–and saved his skin on numerous occasions.

We should all be so lucky to discover such a wondrous wave.

Lately, I’ve become super sensitive to the amount of excuses people make for not living up to their fullest potential.

I have a friend who is starting out on a new venture. He constantly complains that his new venture is not going the way he wants it to go. But, whenever I give him a suggestion to get around whatever he believes to be an obstacle, he ALWAYS has an excuse as to why my suggestion won’t work.

He is selling a product that he designed. He has the product available in a few stores, in which he personally knows the owners. He’s also trying to sell it on the Internet. But it isn’t selling like he thought it would because he knows nothing about computers or the Internet.

So, I suggested that he branch out and contact all stores in the state and surrounding states, to see if they would be interested in carrying his product.

His excuse is that he doesn’t know how he can find all of the stores that specialize in what he sells.

I suggest that he gets a yellow page or business-to-business book and simply call the storeowners.

He says that his yellow pages only cover his area, and he has no way of getting the information for the other stores.

I suggested that he goes on the Internet, go to www.msn.com or any search engine and type in “directory.”

He says he doesn’t know much about computers or the Internet.

I then suggest that he goes to the library because they have yellow pages and business-to-business books available and he doesn’t even have to pay—he could Xerox the pages (for 5 cents a copy) or write them down and call the stores later. Or, he could get someone who DOES know how to use the computer and get the information for them.

He shakes his head and walks away. He HAS no excuse for this one.

I started to wonder, “Why is he sabotaging his own project?”

Then the answer came to me–FEAR disguised as excuses.

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

The reason he has a negative answer for everything that I suggest is because, deep down inside of him he is afraid that his vision will somehow fail. He’s afraid of being looked at as a failure when and if his venture does not take off. So, he hides behind excuses. Excuses give him something to blame, other than himself, if his venture doesn’t do as well as he hopes. He could always say, “Well, I could only get my
product into three stores. I wasn’t able to cover enough area that’s why it didn’t jump off the way I thought it would.”

This way, he is SAFE. No one would look at him as being a failure. They would just see that it was something that was out of his control.

Fear hides itself in a lot of different forms and comes out in different shapes and sizes. Sometimes we won’t ever admit to ourselves that fear is exactly what is stopping us for doing the things that we want to do most. So, we make excuses as to WHY we can’t do this or can’t do that.

The truth is: THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU CANNOT DO. My favorite verse in the Bible states it clearly. WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!

I state this verse, over and over to myself, especially when I find myself thinking of an excuse as to WHY I can’t do something.

The truth of the matter is, there aren’t any excuses. We are just afraid to take the leap of faith. We are afraid that we might fail. We are afraid what others might think of us. We are afraid of getting hurt or offended. We are afraid of being a success.

If we try it and we fail, “They’re ALL gonna laugh at you.” (Remember that line from that Carrie movie?) So, if we make excuses, we somehow justify in our minds that WE are not the failure, but outside circumstances has caused us to fail.

But what if you looked at it this way?

What if you didn’t accomplish EXACTLY what you set out to do, but you learned from the experience. You learned another way how NOT to do the thing that you are most trying to do. Then, would that be considered a failure? Not at all. It would be considered a success. Thomas Edison failed hundreds of times while trying to invent the light bulb. But he didn’t see any of his tries as failures. He saw each “failure” as learning yet another way NOT to create the light bulb. As he crossed off each seemingly failure, it brought him closer to achieving his goal.

It’s all how you look at it. And the choice is always up to you.

So stop making excuses. Get out there and DO IT. Sure, you probably won’t get it right the first time. Big deal! Who does? Just try it again, and again, and again. Because eventually, you will get it right. Remember the old saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

ACTION POINT: Think about what excuses you are using that are holding you back from living your life with purpose. And each time you find yourself making an excuse, any excuse, STOP. Tell yourself, if I try it and it doesn’t work out the way I want it to work out, I will start all over again. I’ll just do it a little different because NOW I know the way I tried it originally, doesn’t work. Cross that way off your list
and try the next. NO MORE EXCUSES.

Often when I run across a good novel, or even after I’ve written an interesting piece, myself; I’ll offer the stories or summaries to my teenagers Usually, their first response is, “Do I have to read it?” And many times, I will reply, “No, you don’t have to read it, but I bet you’ll find it interesting.”

While time has evolved, kids and adults alike, are less inclined to check into local libraries for literary enjoyment. As a stark awakening, I find that most children eagerly seek other forms of entertainment in the forms of multimedia such as video games, cable television, film and yes – the Internet, too. While movies, TV, and the Worldwide Web are phenomenal means of artistic and informational conveyance, they do not adequately serve the human imagination.

My first real interest into in-depth novels began when my 5th grade teacher, Mr. Drozdowski introduced our class to William Shakespeare’s play, MacBeth. I found Shakepeare’s works intriguing and viewed his literature as a renewed breath in poetical, literary expressionism. I further immersed myself in other literature like the Nancy Drew series, Jack London’s “Call of the Wild,” and Alexandre Dumas’ “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

When we pick up a book, we actively engage and submerse ourselves in the story’s plot. Books allow us to conjure the mind’s unlimited imagination. When we read a book, it enables us to become creative in thought, as we hold complete power as to what the imagination’s eye sees. Whether it’s an evil-looking, Cruella DeVille-type, Lady Macbeth; or as in Hans Christian Andersen’s, ‘The Little Mermaid,’ we could invision an impeccable beauty with long, flowing aquamarine hair. The mind’s eye is infinite.

Today, we virtually have the world at our fingertips. If you are ready to dive into fantasy, sci-fi, drama, philosophy, heroism, suspense, mystery or whatever interests you, there is a world of literature that will not only open your eyes, but will pull you into its characters, its sorrows and laughter…and sometimes, it may even make you believe in fairytales!

If you haven’t done so already, visit your local library or bookstore and get ready for the thrill of your life! It’s waiting for you now.

How’s the weather there?

We use small talk to connect with others in a casual way, and by becoming more mindful of the way we interact with those we don’t know well, we can learn a lot about our confidence level, sense of privacy, and attachment to our own opinions.

Small talk isn’t a replacement for deeper relationships—it’s the first step toward building them. We start by being fully present and talking about what is right there in front of us—the weather, your client’s new car, your neighbor’s flowers, the pictures on the walls in the interviewer’s office.

Good small talk indicates:

*Awareness. Did you notice that new haircut, office chair, or necktie? You can show others that you are paying attention by mentioning subtle changes.

*Friendliness. You could just smile and nod, but making a benign comment or asking a question shows that you are truly interested in taking the initiative in the conversation.

*A Desire to Connect. It’s easy to go about our lives without talking to others in any kind of meaningful way. By continuing to engage in light conversation with others, you are indicating your interest in getting to know them better.

*Sensitivity: You’re trying to build a bridge, not a wall. Ask questions and look for cues that let you know how the other person is receiving your comments.

Pay attention to your opportunities to use small talk to connect with others, and be mindful of the way you can leverage your words to develop deeper, more meaningful relationships.

Beyond the weather, there are thousands of topics you can use to create that bridge. Keep it light, be aware, and have fun in your conversations, and before you know it, you’ll be one of those people described as someone who has “never met a stranger.”

Taco Bell, the Mexican fast-food franchise, has a new ad campaign focusing on the slogan, “Get full.” The commercials show people ecstatically announcing that they are full–thanks, of course, to the huge value meals now available at Taco Bell.

We know that feeling full isn’t simply a matter of building a bigger, better burrito. There’s a whole lotta emptiness going on, and it’s not always filled by what we put into our bellies.

The search for connection, for meaning, for love–these are longings not met by the bags we pick up at the drive-thru window. To feel full in the truest sense, we must figure out what we are lacking in our lives. We’re not always mindful of this quest.

Seeking satisfaction in activity? That can work. Be honest
here–is your time spent actively avoiding emptiness or actively seeking fullness? These are two different things. If you find yourself with a full calendar and an empty heart, you’re bathing yourself in distraction, and sooner or later, that’s going to plug up your bathtub.

Being full doesn’t mean you’re packed with positive thoughts and emotions all the time. We need the whole enchilada to help us develop as caring, compassionate humans, and sometimes that means we are full of frustration, sadness or despair.

Hey, it still counts as being full! You’re a vessel, and you should be continually filled, but not necessarily consistently filled with the same stuff. It’s the emptying and filling that keeps things interesting.

“A full cup must be carried steadily.”–English proverb

Getting spilled is part of life. What are you doing to spill yourself…and what are you doing to get filled up again?

Spend time this week contemplating the concept of fullness. Be mindful of opportunities to notice when you are feeling depleted or overflowing.

Concentrate on paying attention to thoughts, emotions, stories, people, places and activities that make you feel full, and practice saying, “This is full” whenever you notice it.

Good full or bad full–don’t judge that. Just be mindful of that sense of fullness wherever you feel it.

Taco Bell entices people to “get full” and this is good advice. But skip the “full-on value meal” and concentrate instead on your own fullness whenever you see an ad or drive by a Taco Bell.

Ask this: Am I full? What is filling me right now?

Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Stir things up and start again.

That’s a recipe for full-on living.

One cannot make a decision in the moment of now. All decisions are made from the past, and then you work in the past to recreate a future that has already passed based on that decision.

If it is true that we are creating ourselves and the circumstances of our existence, then were does that existence or experience take place, in the past, present or future?

The brain is only a processor and a very slow one at that. The brain processes information received by the five senses of smell, touch, taste, hearing and sight. By the time the brain has processed the information received by the bodily sensors and made a judgement about the information, the information is old news and so is its reaction.

In a recent commercial for Young Drivers of Canada, the announcer said that your teenager has only 1.3 seconds to react to a car that has pulled in front of him. That’s not much in human terms, but as far as processing goes it’s a lifetime. Of course we are not computers and our brains process adequately enough for our survival in the physical world and we have learned to live within these limitations of time and space.

The mind is not the brain, the mind is that which gives the body life, it is life itself. There is only one mind and that mind is operating individually in all things. That mind sees the future, the present and the past simultaneously. The ego which is the individualized peace of the mind sees the future as part of the mind, it then goes back into the past to recreate the future through the physical thought process. The ego sees the finished product in its mind’s eye then reacts to it by recreating it. The product or action is real in the minds eye and the body reproduces it in space-time one increment at a time.

The mind is the only part of us that can truly experience itself in the moment of now. The mind sees the future and the ego reacts to it in the past, but the past can never be present in the future so it always recreates in the past. So past, present and future all happen now. The body is as a time machine so that the mind can experience the creation of its own thought. So we are an intermediary function of a system that lives in the now, and cannot experience a past or future.

Humanity is a process not a thing, it cannot be separated from mind because it is a thought of mind, it is the physical aspect of mind and this allows mind to recreate itself one step at a time. So it cannot be rightfully said that we are children of God, but we are actually God experiencing being God. We are a process with no mind of its own except for our connection to the one mind. We live in the illusion of being separate and apart so that the process can work and the process is simply life experiencing itself, trying to make sense by experiencing one piece at a time within the illusion.

Knowing this should give us some kind of peace of mind (connection with mind) in that we are eternal and cannot be destroyed-only the illusion can. Everything that we experience is appropriate and as we become more aware individually, the closer we become to being all that is again, and the illusion of time and space will disappear as we discover what it is to be the mind (be God) and the process will begin again.

We are already that which we seek to be and there is no need to find ourselves. We are not here to learn anything-we are here to simply experience physical life within our own model of it and how we see ourselves in relation to it and the one mind. Life has no purpose other than that which we give it. Life is the only purpose and our purpose is as much an illusion as we are.

The key to achieving more than you currently are, no matter which area of your life or work you are focusing in on now, is change. The old saying rings true: If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you’ve already got. If you keep eating and exercising the way you currently are, you will weigh the same a year from now. If you continue to sell to the same people on the same schedule, you will make the same amount of money next year.

In order to move forward, we must change.

As I have worked with people, both in a professional setting and on a personal basis, I have found two things to be true about change. One, it is simple. Two, it is not easy. That is, the concept of change is simple to grasp. People or organizations are quick to say, “Oh, I know we need to change.” Simple.

But where the problem starts, and why most people and organizations do not change, is because it is not easy to change. But, I believe, if the process is well thought out, and if we have the guts and determination to carry it out, change can happen, and we can move on to more fulfilled lives.

With that said, let me give you what I consider the elements of change.

Discontentment with your current state. The first step in the process of change is to not want to be where you currently are. You must be discontent with it. If you are overweight, you must say, “I will not accept this anymore.” If you are in debt, you must say, “I cannot tolerate this any longer.” If you have broken relationships, you must say, “I will not live with this.” This is a decision to change and not accept the status-quo.

The picture of your preferred outcome. What is it that you want to change to? It absolutely is not enough to say “I need to change.” It must be: “I am going to change to…” This becomes the goal. I would encourage you to get a mental picture of it formulated in your mind. Get a real picture of it if it is that tangible. Perhaps write yourself a short essay, extolling the virtues of what life will be like when you get to the changed state.

New associations with the two states. You must begin to associate your current state you are in with pain, and the state you want to be in with pleasure. Let’s take weight for example. We tend to think of ice cream, mounds of it, with pleasure. I know that I do. Especially chocolate chip mint. Last night we went to some friend’s house and we had some ice cream. Normal portions. I don’t like to eat normal portions. I like huge portions of ice cream. There is an association of pleasure there. But what I did to overcome the urge to eat scoop after scoop was to associate huge portions to being overweight, not the pleasure of the taste. I also associated not eating the ice cream with feeling better about myself. Then when it comes to exercise, I work on associating the exercise and weight-lifting with the pleasure of fitting into my clothes rather than the pain my muscles feel every time I do it. This help me win the battle of the mind.

Develop a plan of short, simple steps. “I am going to lose fifty pounds in two months.” “I will sell 500% more next month.” These are examples of change that are good goals to have long term, but too big for the time allotted – and this is havoc on change!

If your goals are too big in too short of time, you will fail and become discouraged. Then you will quit and decide change can’t be accomplished. Instead, you must have short, workable, attainable goals if you are going to see real change happen and stay.

“I am going to lose five pounds a month for ten months.”

“We are going to sell 6% more each month this year (That would double your business each year)”

These are the size steps you need to take. Then you will build victory after victory.

Discipline yourself. Sorry but this is where it is up to you. At the heart of change is the ability to discipline ourselves. I cannot lose your weight. Your mom cannot go out and make sales calls for you. The only real obstacle standing between your current state and your desired outcome is you! So do everything you can to get yourself motivated to change! Force yourself to get out of bed and get to work on your goals! Discipline yourself. Choose to make the right decision.

Reward yourself when you have made the change. That’s right: reward yourself. You have worked hard and exerted a lot of self-discipline to get there! You deserve it!

One of the ironies of mindfulness is that it’s still possible to be forgetful, klutzy, or even distracted while doing our best to pay attention.

Why? We are choosing where to focus and so there are, by necessity, bits of information that aren’t getting the full laser treatment. It’s simply not possible to be mindful of everything all at once.

That’s the beauty of it.

You can shine your mental high beams on, say, fully connecting with every person you talk to today. While being very aware of your interactions with others, you might trip on the edge of the carpet.

Clumsy and mindful may seem like strange bedfellows, but they are intimate nonetheless.

True story: I know a reference librarian who was in the habit of reading while walking. One day, she was walking the two blocks to her house during her lunch break while reading a new book. She was so completely focused on the words she was reading that she tripped on the sidewalk, landing in a heap right there on Ash Street.

Fortunately, this happened in front of the fire station, and the paramedics came to her aid immediately. Unfortunately, in addition to her badly-bruised ego, she broke not one but both arms.

The book she was reading? “Coping With Attention Deficit Disorder”

You can’t make up this stuff!

Mindfulness doesn’t lend itself to multitasking– especially when we need to watch where we’re going. One-track mindfulness is ideal, but two tracks can work if one of them involves repetitive physical activity. Breathing, washing dishes, eating, walking, sweeping, swimming? Perfect. Tack on another–like reading–and you’ll end up stumbling, too.

Even if you’ve never done a faceplant on concrete, chances are you’ve developed your own quirky mental editing tricks. We choose our targets based on what we decide at that moment is most meaningful.

Your son might be totally immersed in playing the guitar and forget all about his math homework. Your friend might get caught up in a woodworking project and forget to call you back. You might get so absorbed in a conversation with someone at the grocery store that you forget to buy the bread that was the reason for your trip.

Mindfulness helps us pay attention, but it doesn’t make us perfect. And that’s perfect! It shows us our imperfections while helping us become less judgmental about them. A hefty sense of humor helps.

Use mindfulness to help you “step back” before tripping–on the stories in your head, the swirl of emotions you feel, and the chaos of your life. Develop the mental agility to step back, step into and step out of your chosen focus.

You might remain klutzy. You may forget to buy bread. But you won’t end up tripping over what matters most.