You’re a mom and you’re still thinking about being ‘fashionable’? That’s the kind of response I got from someone I went shopping with. All I did was go shopping with this mom and when we passed a fashion outlet selling fashionable clothing and apparel, I commented that I wanted to get that frilly pink top with splashes of lime green that is flying off the shelves with a 70% discount tag!

Is it wrong to be a mom and still want to be fashionable? In my personal opinion, there’s absolutely NOTHING WRONG with wanting to be a fashionable mom! Being mom doesn’t mean that we have to give up our rights to being fashionable, beautiful and healthy. Being mom doesn’t mean that our lives and the entire focus of living has shifted from ‘us’ to ‘family’. Of course, without a smidgen of a doubt, being mom zaps your energy and any mom with a sense of fashion can tell you that it takes a lot to be a fashionable mom.

It already takes so much effort to dress up the kids…imagine trying to find time matching fashionable tops with fashionable skirts…and then find the blasted fashionable handbag with the same color and tone to go with the same-colored fashionable shoes! What an effort!

When we used to be single, trying to be in fashion didn’t used to be such an effort, did it? In fact, pulling out fashionable clothing off the shelves and donning them seems to come so naturally to most of us when we are young and LOOKING! Now that we’re not looking anywhere else but at our kids, we find it such an effort just to be fashionable?

And yet, being a fashionable mom is still possible! ABSOLUTELY! All it takes is some effort, planning and some common sense. And work at it!!

Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong
process.

As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to choose our response
to events, people and circumstances. We do not become responsible when
we mature; we mature when we become responsible.

Psychologists teach that the only reasons people are ever motivated or
moved to action is to gain a reward or avoid a penalty. As you teach this
principal to the children in your charge be sure to explain what they will
gain or lose by the choices they make.

ME: I am in charge of those things that directly affect me as a person.

Examples are:

Grooming, nutrition, exercise, education, choosing friends, a mate or a career. My
choices might irritate or disappoint others but the consequences will ultimately hurt only
me.

YOU: My actions in this circle affect those I love and care about. I want you to like and
approve of me, so I am motivated to do what will please you. I have a responsibility to
those who work or live with me to do the things I say I will, accept blame when I am
wrong, make restitution, be co-operative, care for my possessions and safeguard other
people’s resources. Consequences have a ripple effect on those around me and will affect
my daily life.

US: The community within 10 miles of wherever I am standing determines us.
Some people and organizations I know, some I don’t know yet, but they are a part of my
extended neighborhood. This is the place to practice random acts of kindness, courtesy
and service. We are each the representative of the groups we belong to; family, teenagers,
school, soccer team etc. The whole may be judged and influenced by our individual
actions and role model. The reward may come later in life in the form of
recommendations, job offers, networking and a stronger more vibrant community.

The Universe: I have a responsibility to the universal family of humankind to make the
world a better place. I need to be a part of the solution of preserving the earth,
eliminating bigotry, giving service, and treating others, as I would like to be treated. The
Universe may never give me a tangible reward, but I will gain an inner reward of doing
right and making good choices for the higher good of all. I recognize that I have a
responsibility to not only have positive actions, but thoughts, words and intentions
towards others and to act with dignity, respect and love.

As parents and leaders we need to give children the opportunity to be responsible as
early as possible. Teach the concept of a pause button in order to stop, think and
choose before acting. Whenever they are allowed to have a voice and a choice, they
will grow up knowing that they have the power to guide the outcome of their life and
contribute to the well being of the group.

When it comes to the divorce, you may not get the house. In fact, neither of you may end up with the house, so you will need to learn how to move on and set up a new house for your comfort. Maybe you will look for an apartment, condo, or you may find yourself wanting to purchase a home.

You will want to be sure that you know what you want in the divorce. You may want the house, but not fight for it and lose it. You may also want the house and get it, but then you realize you can’t afford the place by yourself. You may end up single, with children, and no income or little income. It can be hard for you to move on and purchase a home.

If you have a less painful divorce and still talk civilized to your ex, you may want to ask them to keep their name on the house. If you have a co-ownership, you will both own the house and you can both continue to pay the taxes and the mortgage. This is very rare, but there are some couples who that in sake of the children. The judge will also take that in mind when it come to the child support. However, it may just be best if you get a smaller house.

With a new and smaller home, you can sell your other home, stay somewhere near the area, and still be able to avoid your home. It’s like trading your car in, it will help pay for the next one. It can be easy to trade down.

With the downgrade, you children may feel like they have just lost their security bubble, but if you tell them that you are going to try to make everything feel like home and ask them to give the move a shot, and then you can begin to make a new home for your family and friends to enjoy.

The first step to making a new home is to try to make everything seem a little familiar. The children will appreciate the thought and effort. You will to match the color of their rooms and try to make their rooms like similar to the original. This way the kids will have a safe haven once again. If the kids are open to the divorce, then you may want to give them the change to decorate their room. When you decorate the rooms like they would like, they may have an easier time excepting the divorce and the kids will be fine. As for the rest of the house, you can decorate it the way you would like. If you would like to have certain colors in your home, then go for it. If your kids are older than you should involve them in the decorating process so that they feel more comfortable in their room.

You can place the furniture anywhere in your home and you can do whatever you would like with the home and not have to worry about what your husband or wife would think because it doesn’t matter.

You will want to make sure that your kids are involved in the process of sitting up home so that they can get use to the house and being away from their original home and friends. If you have any children still in school, you don’t want to move out of the school district because you don’t want to uproot the kids. You will want to make the move as smooth as possible for the children.

Most people will find that it is hard to resolve or let go of their feelings during a divorce. They will become angry and feel like they will lose control at any moment. You should know that there are hundreds of people who feel the same way. You will want to seek therapy to help you control your temper and feelings of rage. When you seek therapy you will also learn how to get along with your mate for the sake of the children. You may also want to stay friends during the divorce so that you don’t end up losing a lot of money during the divorce. You don’t want to spend hours of your time in mediation or court. You want to be able to put this as much in the past as possible. You don’t want to waste any more money and time than necessary so you should become friends with your mate for the sake of that.

To be friends you should still care about what the other feels. You should talk to them privately and civilized. If you want out of a marriage and remain friends, you should try to keep affairs and such out of the air. If they don’t know that you have been seeing someone else, don’t tell them. Just tell them that you aren’t feeling good about the marriage and want to try it apart. You will also want to keep the affair to a minimum during the divorce. As soon as you place another person in the mixing you will have someone feeling defensive, and that’s not your goal of this.
You should also participate in family therapy so that the kids don’t feel that it’s their fault. You can find security in therapy and you will notice that most people will be able to feel better because they have resolved some of the issues. They have gotten answers for some of their issues. When it comes to being friends, it’s hard to divide everything up and still claim friendship.
Divorce is territorial and the worst of everyone will become evident. This is when you will want to set a day or two aside to talk to your spouse calmly about what goes and what stays. If you talk without the attorneys then you can keep things off the defensively and be more productive. You can go through out the house and talk about all the things that you are going to miss and how you feel. This way they know that this isn’t so easy for you either. Most of the time, you can resolve all the issues of a divorce by just talking off the record. You can save money on the lawyers as well as the hurt that is involved. You may end up having to give up some control over certain matters so that the compromise will allow the divorce to stay civilized. When you talk, you should never raise your voice. Your tone should be low and you should try to understand their side so that you are able to have a clean sweep.
You should explain to your mate that this is not an act or plea to come back. You have cared about them for a long time and still do and that is why you would like to spare any of the hardships. Some people will try to be nice to come back, but if you are nice to your spouse in general, things will be more pleasant for everyone and the divorce will go quickly. You should compromise, but you shouldn’t give more than you are willing.

Dick and Jay sat on the ground outside the shed. The rain pelted down on them. They stared in disbelief at the lake of mud all around them. The Piper Cub slumped in the mud a few feet in front of them. Neither a wet bird nor muddy squirrel could be seen.

“It’s going to be like this for some time,” said Jay, gloomily, “according to the weather report.”

Dick feebly told the joke about the weatherman who left town because the weather didn’t agree with him–but neither of them laughed. The rain fell without remorse.

“Boy, boys, boys,” said a beautiful woman with auburn hair. She had a fresh complexion. She wore a wet, slightly muddy, mauve dress. She sat down between them, covering them with her pink umbrella.

Dick kissed his wife on the cheek. He reached down into the vanilla box for his sandwich. The box tumbled out of his hands and landed in a puddle. It floated.

“That’s it,” shouted Jay. He grabbed Dick’s elbow. “Don’t you see— that’s it!”

It only took a day to add the inflated pontoon boats to the Piper Cub. Now instead of wheels, it had floats. Now, instead of the muddy runway, they used the river.

But another calamity awaited: a lightning storm. A bolt of lightning struck the hut, shattering it.

Without an office, it was hard to run operations.

Dick, however, found a solution. He bought a chicken coop from the farmer down the road for $25.

“One last yard,” said Dick, talking to the old mare. The mare grunted as it dragged along the chicken coop.

After propping up the chicken coop, Dick began whitewashing it.

“There,” said Dick, slapping on the last coat.

He stepped back to join his wife, Doreen, and his partner, Jay. All of them admired the bright chicken coop. It proudly bore the blue legend “Wolverine Air Service.”

“Soon,” said Dick, “Millions will be flying their own planes. They’ll come to us and we’ll teach them.”

“And it only cost us $200 to get this Piper Cub,” added Jay.

“Airplanes will swarm the air, the way cars do the ground,” predicted Dick.

Just then a freckled-faced young man came up to them.

“Is this your school?” he asked, squinting at Dick.

“Have you come for lessons?” asked Dick.

“Darn right!”

“We’d love to teach you, but we don’t know how to fly!” confessed Dick.

A few days later, however, they found a flight instructor. Dick straightened out the sheaf of papers on his ramshackle desk as the last interviewee walked out of the shack. He looked over at Jay. “Well?” Jay nodded. “I like him.”

“Then we have a new flight instructor,” said Dick, smiling broadly.

The next day, Dick and the new flight instructor stood outside the chicken coop office.

“How are you going to pay me?” asked the flight instructor, a tall man with thick dark hair and brilliant blue eyes.

“Cash,” said Dick, unruffled.

“But you said a moment ago that you don’t have any money?”

“I don’t,” confirmed Dick, “but they do.”

The flight instructor turned around to follow Dick’s finger. He had to chuckle. On the edge of the field was Jay whooping in a group of three eager students, all trussed up in flight gear. They were wet to their thighs from wading across the river.

“They’ll be the first to graduate,” affirmed Bob, the new flight instructor.

This is the story of Richard M. DeVos and his high-school buddy, Jay Van Andel, who came home after the Second World War convinced that the aviation business would be the trend of the future.

The Success Principle

The only limits are those that you set up for yourself. Limited thoughts create limited people.

When it comes to divorce, it is hard to tell your spouse, it’s even harder to tell your friends and family. If you have been thinking about divorce and you have taken it heavy to heart, then you will want to tell your spouse and then your family. The timing needs to be right. You shouldn’t announce at thanksgiving dinner that you would like a divorce and hope that your entire family listening so you don’t have to repeat it. You should arrange a time like luncheon to tell your closest family. Take your mother out to dinner and tell her what you think and how you feel. It’s okay to vent.

Your family will be completely understanding, and if you don’t think that someone will be, let them hear through the grapevine. You should speak to them with calmness in your voice. You can imagine how some of your family will react, they too will be shocked, and especially if they didn’t know that the marriage has problems. You should never tell your family on the phone, in a letter, or on the answer machine. If you don’t think you can face someone and tell them, then don’t tell them at all. Wait until you have had time to accept it and when you are in a good state of mind. Let the shock happen.

Once you have told your family and friends they will begin to ask you questions. You have the right to answer and the right to decline. You don’t have to justify anything to them. As for showing your face up to family events, You may want to pull away for a couple months because they are going to be a lot of ignorant people who tell you that they are sorry or comment and if you aren’t ready for that it’s okay to pull away from certain events, but you can not isolate yourself. It will help you to face your friends and family once you have someone on your side. You may want to tell your sister, your brother, a close friend. This way you will find strength in numbers. The most people to understand your situation, the better you will feel about it

When it comes to telling the children, you should do it together. You both should remain calm and just tell the children that you would like to try it apart, but make sure that the children understand that they aren’t losing a parent or both.

Counseling has helped a lot of people deal with their failing marriage by lending some support. You should discuss some of the arrangements that you need to figure out and how you feel going through the process. Therapy would also be a help when it comes to announcing it to someone who may not understand. You will find courage and strength in the therapy.

You may feel uncomfortable announcing your spit, but you need to remember that this is the time that you need to lean on someone. You need to find comfort from your friends and family. How else will you find comfort if you do not tell them; as soon as you are ready you can make a phone and invite some friends or family over and tell them everything. Don’t leave anything out. Your friends will validate your feelings and will support you so do not fear their response.

Divorce is hard on everyone, but telling the friends and family should not because they love you. They want you to be happy and will be there for you regardless of anything. They are your support system and should be allowed to give you the support that you need.

Usually in a divorce, the couple that is divorcing needs to make the decision about who is going to keep the house.  They need to work this out on their own or make sure that the courts address it. You have to make the decision about what will be done with the property. There are many different options and it is important to make sure that the decision is best for everyone involved.

In a divorce it is usually determined what is going to be done with the house.  You can either sell it and split the profits between the two people that are getting divorced if they own it, one person can offer to let the other one have it, or the other party will buy out the ex spouse.  It will depend on how the divorce is settled to determine this decision.  It is always better when things are worked out easily, but sometimes this is not possible and the couple will have to seek the help from an attorney or court system.

If you are the one that is ready to take on the challenge of keeping the home, you will want to make sure of a few things first. You will want to be certain that you can take on the mortgage payments.  You will have to decide if this is a payment that you can afford each month.  You must make sure that you have thought about your income now that you are divorced and what you will be able to afford.
You will also want to think about the fact if you really do want the house or not. You have to want the house because it is where you want to stay and not just be the winner of the house to spite the other person.  You have to get through these feelings and then determine if this is where you want to stay and rebuild your life after the divorce.

Sometimes it is better for the couples to decide if they should sell the house or not.  It is important to think about the financial security that you have in time and think about what you can afford to loose and gain in the situation.  Do you really want to start your new life over in a house that you once shared with your ex?  Is this the house that you grew up in and want to keep it for sentimental value, or do you want to make sure that your children are raised in the home that they know and love?  These are a few of things that sometimes people need to think about and have the right answers for when it comes time to decide what to do with the house.

If you are the one to be leaving the house after a divorce, you will want to see how it will affect your credit.  If your name is on the mortgage to the house, and your ex spouse does not pay, you will be responsible for the loan and your credit may suffer because of it.  The lender wants their money no matter if you are living in the home or not.  If you own money on the home it may also make it hard for you to go out and purchase your own home later on because of the outstanding balance on this one.

It will be important for you to either make arrangements with the ex that they are going to be faithful in paying the mortgage or have this documented in the divorce or you may just want to have them get your name off of the mortgage.  This may require them to refinance the home in their name only so that you are not longer financially linked to the home.  This is something that you will have to think about and make sure that you have everything set before the divorce is final.  You want to protect yourself as well as keep things settled and peaceful with your ex.

Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

Building an effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.

An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other parties’ feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.

Respect is the key to relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.

The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.

Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.

Work towards a win-win solution for both parties.

This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party’s needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.

Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.

Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.

Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.

When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party’s feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say ‘No man is an Island’.

Almost everything you read about online dating safety is directed at women but men need to be concerned as well. Perverts, sexual predators and weirdoes come in both sexes, all sizes, and all ages…as do, liars and cheaters. So men need to stay on guard, too.

It is common knowledge not to readily give out personal information to strangers. The reason for not doing so is as large as the number of strangers who want that information. If you come across a person who is giving out personal information and asking others to do the same, don’t do it. You don’t know what they want to use it for….and you had better believe they want to use it for something. That “something” will not be for your benefit. Men, also, need to guard their real names, addresses, phone numbers, and place of employment. Do not give that information to anyone online until you are confident that they are who they say they are.

Men, be wary of women who seem too financially needy. If they ask for money, in any of a dozen ways women can ask for money, cut the relationship off immediately. They are not looking for love or even friendship….they are looking for financial help.

If a woman gives you a contact number but you cannot ever reach her at that number, beware. If you always have to page them or text them and have them call you back, this could be a sign that what they are telling you is not the complete truth.

A need to get married and insecurity are other signs men should be very wary of. If the woman is pushing too hard for a commitment you aren’t ready to make, it might be a good time to head for the nearest exit.

A divorce is seen as a sin most religions. It’s hard to fall back on religion went they persecute you, however, there are ways that you can use your faith to help you through something as difficult as a divorce. Faith is what grounds us. Faith is what says what’s wrong and what’s right. When your heart is broken, you can use your faith to give you strength to help you connect back to yourself. If you are going through a divorce right now, you may find your faith gone, but it is not. You are hurt, you are trying to cope with it the best you can.

The first thing that you should keep in mind is what is known as the law of acceptance. With your faith you are able to accept everything that life throws at you. Things don’t just happen. They happen because of a divine spirit that is guiding us through live. Some people believe that it is god’s will. Other’s argue that God’s Will does not inflict pain. That’s where predestination comes in. Everything that we do is because we have an intended destiny that was written upon birth. If you want to think about your divorce as a law of surrender.

The law of surrender states that the minute you give in to your faith and reach out for God or Gods you will find that your faith will led you to have better opportunities and it will change your entire life. When you surrender your heart to god, he helps you back to your feet and will fix everything wrong in your life.

Then there divine guidance. This type of faith is presented in a poem known as Footprints. During the poem a man finds that when times are good, then there are two sets of footprints. During the rough times, there is only one. The man asks God one day why leaves when times get hard. God speaks and says that when he only saw one set of footprints it was because God was carrying him. Divine guidance is when god does what you cannot. If you feel that you cannot live another day. God helps you through it. If you feel that you just can’t go on any more because of your divorce, God will be there to give you strength as long as you believe in his power.

God is so different for many people. However, to Christians, god is a spirit that oversees our lives and he gives us hope, love, and guidance. We are whom he created in hopes of making a better world, a world that once never existed. God is a merciful God. He does not punish those that repent. God allows you to be forgiven as long as you are truly forgiven. Many people will use this as karma. Karma is what leads us to god it is why we repent. Remember, what you dish out, you will get back third folds. When karma comes back, god is there to forgive you when you are ready.

Now many people believe that a divorce is a sin against god that cannot be forgiven, however, it is not god that judges, but those around us. In the Bible, it says that you need to learn how to forgive your fellow man. When you forgive, you are able to open your heart up to the world and to god. God forgives because we are his creation and he wants everyone to find his or her happiness.

Free will is seen as the evil in region, however, God gave everyone free will. Why? God wants everyone to choose him. Whatever you do, if you choose God, He will forgive you for your sins and he will help you through your divorce. This is the one thing that you can be guaranteed during a divorce. God is always with you, no matter what you do, He is there to give you the strength to go on.